I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
