So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
