I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
