you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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