so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
