You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
