Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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