so explain again why im purple
no
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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