Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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