I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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