so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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