I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
