if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i just google imaged poop.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
