I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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