dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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