Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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