you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
