Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
