HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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