omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
