hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Pants are for mortals
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
