You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
