Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
