Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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