Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
