Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
