She's JV to your varsity
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize
