I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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