Where are you?
In a non slutty way
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
