hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
