It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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