Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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