He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
