We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
