he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
