so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
