if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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