is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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