driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
how drunk are you?
Several
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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