Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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