he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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