Do you still have your period?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
