i think my tv is drunk
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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