You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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