I CAN MOONWALK!
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize