I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
God, I missed his penis.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
