come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
