Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
