No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
