...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
